Week 5: The Power Washer Incident and a Cinderella Story
Week 5 of the Awesome League delivered drama, heartbreak, and one truly spectacular performance—plus an off-field controversy involving household equipment that simply cannot be ignored. Let’s dive in!
🎬 Match of the Week: The Glass Slipper Fits!
MC ALL DA WAY (132.2) vs. (138)
In the marquee matchup of the week, Mad Man Maddix proved his team name is no fairy tale. Trailing by reputation but not by heart, outlasted Merrick’s MC ALL DA WAY in a thriller that came down to just six points.
Mike Evans was the star of the ball for Maddix, torching opponents with a stellar outing, while Jason Myers—yes, the kicker—delivered a whopping 23 points to give Cinderella the edge. The Broncos D/ST pitched in with 14 points of their own.
For Merrick, Josh Allen did everything he could with over 30 points at quarterback, and Justin Jefferson brought his usual magic. But sometimes the clock strikes midnight on your season, and this week it was MC ALL DA WAY left holding a pumpkin. Better luck next week, Merrick!
📊 Around the League
Traven’s Monster Week: Speaking of performances, Traven absolutely erupted for 193 points—the highest score of the week by a country mile. Dustin’s Bush Diving Squirrels put up a respectable 172.54, but it wasn’t nearly enough. When you run into a buzzsaw like that, sometimes you just tip your cap.
LaLa’s Stay Sharp: Laura cruised past her nephew Greylin (, 63.04) with 126.12 points. Jared Goff and Brock Bowers led the charge. Meanwhile, G’s snack game might be strong, but his fantasy roster had a rough go—though we still love him!
Best Juan Keeps Rolling: Brandon’s squad put up 150 against Mayes’ I love sharks!!!22 (95). Ja’Marr Chase and Sam LaPorta delivered the goods. Mayes, those sharks may love you, but fantasy points did not this week.
Cruises: Brian Hunt’s other squad dominated KK’s Rhino’s Rockin’ Roster 143 to 84. Derrick Henry and Trey McBride combined for over 40 points. Kelsey’s crew had too many key players posting zeroes—sometimes the fantasy gods are just cruel.
🏆 Prize Tracker
The $195 prize pool remains up for grabs as we approach the season’s midpoint:
- 1st Place ($100): Greylin Hunt currently leads among the under-18 crew—but there’s plenty of season left!
- 2nd Place ($50): Mayes Marshall is in the hunt for the runner-up spot among our younger managers.
- 3rd Place ($25): Merrick Marshall is tracking for the bronze position. Keep battling!
All prizes remain in play—nothing is locked in yet!
📋 Commissioner’s Corner
The waiver wire was active this week, with Bush Diving Squirrels making moves like they’re training for a roster management marathon. Among the notable pickups: grabbed Breece Hall, Best Juan added Jordan Love, and brought in Tyreek Hill.
But the real news? Word on the street is that Traven allegedly broke his father’s power washer. Now, we’re not saying there’s a connection between destroying household equipment and dropping nearly 193 fantasy points, but the timing is suspicious. Perhaps all that pent-up energy had to go somewhere? Brian, we hope the power washer rests in peace. Traven, maybe stick to fantasy domination and leave the outdoor equipment alone.
Until next Sunday, may your waivers clear, your starters stay healthy, and your power washers remain intact!